Processing Emotions
Lean in. Get curious. Explore self-compassion.
As human beings, we have 6 core emotions: happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise and anger. Out of 6 of these core emotions, 2 are widely considered ‘positive’ and 4 considered ‘negative’. And yet, we somehow tend to believe if we’re not happy 24/7, we’re doing something wrong? While also living in a society that doesn’t teach us HOW to process our emotions when they come up, especially the ‘negative’ ones?
This doesn’t add up…
In hopes of ‘doing this human experience right’, many of us tend to run from our emotions to protect ourselves from overwhelm. On the other hand, some of us tend to obsess over them endlessly; allowing our feelings to run rampant inside our minds without expressing them positively only to cause our minds to spiral out of control. But, what if we had another option?
What if we leaned into our emotions with curiosity and compassion?
What if we gave ourselves permission to feel our emotions wholly and deeply?
What if we loosened our grip, opened up, expressed, moved, and released our emotions with the intent to gain alignment, take back our power and restate our truth?
If you’ve never explored these options, it’s normal to feel nervous and scared. Trying something new and foreign, especially after years of conditioning your brain to run or obsess, is scary! But, it’s no reason not to try.
When you first begin to lean into your emotions, your ego’s voice will likely get loud and pull you into the following tendencies:
1. Self-judgement
This will sound like:
“I’m stupid/silly/an idiot for feeling this way”
“This feeling makes me a weak person”
“This person must hate me”
I want to very firmly and clearly state that these self-judgements are NOT. TRUE.
Giving these thoughts the time of day will pull you out of alignment and prevent you from processing the emotion you are experiencing.
If you notice these kinds of thoughts surfacing, you can replace them with the following affirmations:
“Processing my emotions is a strength. Where most would run to avoid, I am leaning in to explore. It is human for me to feel this way. It is human to make mistakes. All of my feelings are valid.”
2. Labelling emotions
Classifying your emotions as “good” or “bad” may block your ability to process them fully because emotions aren’t “good” OR “bad”. They just are.
They are human.
They are normal.
They are an opportunity to learn more about yourself.
If you notice these kinds of thoughts surfacing, you can replace them with the following affirmations:
“I feel (insert emotion). It is ok to feel (insert emotion). This feeling is normal, human, and an opportunity to learn more about myself. I am safe in this emotion.”
3. Spiralling into “shoulds”
For example:
“I should be farther along by now”
“I should be over this”
“I shouldn’t be feeling this way”
The second your sentence/thought starts with “should/nt” THROW. IT. AWAY.
These statements are NOT your truth.
It’s important to give your emotions the permission, time and space they need to run their course without judgement and with great amounts of self-compassion.
If you notice these kinds of thoughts surfacing, you can replace them with the following affirmations:
“I give myself permission to feel these emotions in the time and space that is right for me. I am on the right path, I am doing the work, I am proud of my courage and self-compassion.”
4. Stay away from distractions
Aka mindless consumption (tv, social media, food, drink, substances, etc).
Distracting yourself with mindless consumption is holding you back from really and truly processing your emotions and contributing to a distancing between yourself and the emotions themselves.
If you notice yourself participating in mindless consumption, ask yourself:
“What does my mind/body/soul really need right now?”
Which leads me to:
Activities that will allow you to express your emotions in a positive way:
Verbally
Venting to a friend who has the capacity for you
Venting in a private, safe space out loud to yourself
Writing (see journal prompts below)
Singing (in public and/or in private)
Therapy / coaching
Spiritually
Meditating
Yoga
Breath work
Gratitude practices
Artistically
Crafting
Painting
Drawing
Colouring
Art therapy
Physically
Going for a walk / run
Working out
Dancing
Crying
Gardening
Leaning in, getting curious about your emotional experiences, exploring the lesson, learning as much as you can about what is happening, and navigating the experience of that emotion through a non-judgemental lens of healing is what processing emotions is all about.
To put it simply: you’re creating the space and opportunity to grow into a stronger version of yourself when you process your emotions.
Is this work hard? Yes. It absolutely is.
And that’s what makes it worth it.
